I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, NPRs How I Built This, on my way to work recently and Barbara Corcoran (think Shark Tank) was being interviewed. She has been open about how bad she was at school when she was younger and how she struggled with self-doubt. However, the part of her story that I didn’t know was how big of a part her mom played in that. When she failed a test and the nuns at her school would tell her that she was stupid, her mom would tell her “oh don’t worry about it, with your imagination, you will fill in the blanks”. That affirmation from the very person who mattered most, gave her a strength to hang on to and basically became a self-fulfilling prophesy.
It made me think, have I done that? I know my child’s strengths but have I used it to encourage her when she is down. We are quick to come to the rescue when your child is hurt or down but how often do we actually point them to their own strength so lovingly that it reinvigorates them. Think about those annoying traits; does your child talk your head off like mine? Does your child feel bad about it because she gets shushed a lot or does she feel great about it because she knows she has a gift, even if it needs to be developed.
Don’t miss the opportunity to introduce your child to her own self. Every time you do, you place a rock solid block in her foundation where healthy self esteem and resiliency can develop from.
In short, I need to learn to replace “You talk too much, T!” with “you are such a great storyteller, T!” more often. 🙂
Happy Mother’s Day Weekend Smart Mommies! Rock on! Continue to be fierce in your love for your children!